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hearme_roarr
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Name: Odelia >:]
Gender: Female
Interests: Netball, Basketball, Planetshakers, Good Charlotte, Yellowcard, The Click Five, Paramore, Simple Plan, Relient K, Boys Like Girls, Plain White T's, We The Kings, Secondhand Serenade, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga Manchester United, Cristiano Ronaldo
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/28/2007
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| Hello all. It's definitely been a long time since I've posted here, due to many reasons which I shan't state. Haha, but I've missed ranting out here and just talking about my life, to many random people on the net. *waves* It's a good way of releasing all the stress that's been contained inside me for the week, month, year, by just spilling it all out. So well, it's 2012 already? Apparently so! 2011 has been a surreal year, with so many parts of the year feeling so insignificant and non-existent but yet some have stuck with me, throughout. It's been tough really, adapting to the changes that have been thrown at me, having to handle managing so much in just a short span of time, and dealing with all the new things that have somehow managed to enter my life. Firstly, results at the start of the year, then JC, then PW, then new friends, then netball, then midyears, then madness, then promos, then results, and then finally the holiday, and suddenly, OBS, and then mad rush to Malaysia, and Hongkong after, Taiwan and then back, and then suddenly BOOM! It's 2012! So much has changed in this one short year, the surroundings, environment, people, and most importantly, myself in the process. I've definitely changed in so many ways possible, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, so much that sometimes even I can't recognize myself anymore, because I'm just used to feeling so carefree and being myself, but this year has left me with not much of a choice. 2011 has challenged me to extents that even I have never imagined possible, pushing me to the limits so many times, but yet forcing me to stay calm, leaving me mostly in a total whirlwind of emotions and confusion. However, I am proud to say that I have survived! :) This 2011 has led me to meet so many new awesome people, and also allowed me to catch up with some old friends which I haven't talked to in long. The memories created with each and every one have definitely been priceless, and I will treasure them for life. I would probably have never survived without these people which I treasure so much. So to everyone who has stuck it out with me this year, thank you, so much :) 2012 is going to be an insane year, mad rush, with teachers trying to rush out the syllabus and prepare us for A's, with us having to prepare for the A divs without a coach, with the bible study group having to start a new year together, and basically everything else that's going to happen in my life this year. Honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle the responsibilities that I have taken on, and that I will end up disappointing all the people who've ever believed in me and put their trust in me, I'm afraid that I won't be able to meet the expectations that people have set for me. Call me superficial and stupid, but well, doesn't everyone want to meet a certain level of expectation from anyone and everyone? But through it all, I just hope that I'll be able to survive through it, do well enough for A's, do my jobs well, meet the basic level of expectation from everyone and somehow yet remain sane and myself. It's going to be hard, but I trust that with the right amount of time management and support from family, friends and most importantly God, I will definitely be able to conquer all. So everyone out there who's reading this, I hope that all of you have a great 2012 ahead, and that your wishes and expectations for this year may be met, and no matter what, always stay true to yourself, because that's the most important. Peace Out. | | |
| Have you ever, dreamt of doing something for so long? Dreamt of maybe having a dog? Dreamt of going to Paris? Dreamt of going to RJC? Dreamt of having that new dress? Or that new top? Everyone has dreams, and everyone longs for them to come through. Always. We might put in tremendous amounts of effort to make sure it comes through, while some just leave it, because they know it won't matter. Sometimes, our dreams might come so close to being fulfilled and at that moment, you have hope, because something that matters to you, is coming through. That glimmer of hope, so close yet sometimes so far. What hurts the most, isn't missing out on it from afar when it's almost impossible to obtain it, but losing it when you know it's right there in front of you, but you can't reach out for it, because of circumstances that can't be helped. It hurts the most when you had it right there, but you had to let it go, because there some something that was more important at that point of time. It's having to, to open up your fingers, arms to let go of something that you had right there, in your bare hands. That's what hurts the most. And the hurt will stay with you, forever, as regret.. | | |
| I constantly wonder, why I try so hard sometimes, only to have shit thrown back at me, every single time, again and again. I wonder why, I give so much, when obviously, there is nothing much coming back in return. I wonder why, I'm having to do your part of the work. I wonder why, I'm having to ensure that you get a good grade, when you obviously don't care. I wonder why, I tolerate all of this. I wonder why, I hold my feelings in. I wonder why, I control my emotions, when I obviously can't take it anymore. I wonder why, I'm holding on. It's tough, it really is. The deadline's coming in what, 10 days? Yet, you're still wasting your time, leaving it to me, leaving it to just us, to complete your work for you, because you know we will. Just because, you know it matters to us. Is it really that fun, to do this to us? Are you that selfish, that the world has to revolve around you? Why do we have to accomadate you, why do we have to go according to your wishes? Why can't we have the choice, to sleep earlier? Why can't we have the opportunity to have a break? It's always about you, isn't it? I'm tired of having to hold it all in. Tired of holding in my tears, my anger, my rage. Why do I, have to cry? For this simple purpose. I've broken down, lost my senses, contemplated giving up, but I can't, because I know, I have a responsibility to you, to everyone. I can't give up, or let it go, because if I do, everything will go. Nothing will remain. Though it probably won't change much. Sleeping late, past midnight, having to sacrifice outings, rest, comfort, just to ensure that the work is done, ready to be, submitted the next day. When you, you're there, sleeping, gaming, slacking, wasting your time. Why are we picking up for you? Why are we putting in the effort, when you obviously don't care? I'm tired, and drained, but I'm holding on, for myself, and the two that care. That's all for now, you're on your own. Don't blame me, when you don't make it through. It's your loss, and your fault, your choice, your decision, your path. | | |
| http://hearme-roarr.tumblr.com :) | | |
| It's been a good weekend as usual. With time spent at church, family and with friends. Well, Saturday was spent out almost the whole day. Out in the morning with mum to get groceries, dad went overseas early in the morning. He goes overseas so often nowadays, ohwell. Can't blame him either. Miss him though. So yea, morning was spent out with mum breakfast etc. And then came back around 1:30. Got ready and met Jiajia to go for Synod Youth Games. That smart girl sprained her ankle, haha. So yea, go there around 2, and met Yongcai, stoned around for a bit and everyone started coming down from their fellowship etc. And the games started. Captain Ball!
First game was against Covenant, it was a pretty crazy game for a first game. They were so powered up and they were good. Time was spent running and marking the guys like mad, and it got really tiring. Stopped near the end and played captain. In the end still lost 9-8 to Covenant. Ohwell. We took it in our stride and just rested and prepared for next game. Next game was against Amazing Grace, they were all in red, haha and me and Jiaen were in red also, so there was a little confusion. Haha. Anyway, it was a much easier game since we were all warmed up already, played defender this time and in the end, we won like, 18-5 I think. Can't remember. Yea I think so. Was a good win, and all the jumping was tiring o.o Haha and they self subbed a lot, we had barely anyone to sub so ohwell. Rested for a bit more and it was getting late, had to leave at 5:10. Played one last game against Prinsep. Played defender yet again. Had a pretty good streak of blocking or catching, hehe :D And it was a really good game. We won in the end with 22-4/6 I think. Then left with Jiajia. Heard from them in the end, and we got 4th, they played two more games, with Adam Road and True Way. Oh and, El and I had a pretty bad crash into each other, well you see, Kester was passing me the frisbee and she ran over and tried to intercept and whilst doing that, she ran right headfirst into the side of my side. Both of us literally fell to the ground and went dizzy and both of us now have a bump. Almost had a concussion I think. Haha. It was funny though.
Rushed home, bathed, etc and got money from my mum, then rushed to City Hall to meet the rest of the peeps (: Met Cherie at City Hall, and went to find Joan. Clarice came soon after and then came Sabz and Janet. Lin and Jellz came late. So then we set off to find our food and ended up at Miss Clarity's Cafe near National Library Board. Whoa the meal was good, and we all talked about stuff, school etc. It was cool. Had Bacon Aglio Olio. Super filling, omg couldn't take the food anymore. Finished our ice cream etc and we rushed to the National Library Board since it was starting to get late. Went in, and soon after, To Kill A Mockingbird started! (: It was pretty good on the whole, for a Singaporean play that is. We all had our laughs etc throughout. The scenes got all mixed up and some of the quotes were off, and they inserted some things that didn't even happen, and twisted some things, but it's alright. The gist of it all was still there, haha. Finished super late at around 10:30. Stoned around outside for a while and Lin had a mad craze when she saw Claude Giraudi who acted as Mr Gilmer, apparently she's acted with him before. She literally jumped into his arms and they talked for a bit, it was funny to see. Haha. The jumping into the arms thing. Ohwell, good thing she's small. Wonder how he'd take it otherwise. So yea, 8 of us then left for home along with Mel Ng. Camwhored a bit outside. And guess what, Atticus, drives a motorbike and wears hot pink! Haha. The actor that is (: Was pretty ironic but ohwell. Trained home and dropped off with Janet. Parted ways and walked home. My flats were killing me, almost felt like walking home barefooted but didn't in the end, haha. So yea, then reached home at about like, 11:30 near 12. Comp-ed and uploaded pictures and then stoned around for a bit then conked out. Tiring day.
Today was a good day spent at church. Reached church around 9:20, and talked to Jiaen for a bit, and the rest started coming. Service was good, was feeling pretty stoned at first, idk why somehow. Probably tired, ohwell. Then it got better, Irwin came and we caught up. Talked a bit and it's good that he came back, haha (: Bible Study was retarded. Talked about wealth and faith that works, had a mini confession that turned into some joke thing, haha, funny. I love my BS Group, you guys never fail to make my day. Had crazy fits and all, haha. Then ended off with sharing and went for lunch with BS Group and rest of the peepos. Squeeeezed into Gerard's car with Ron, Jiajia, James, Kester, Irwin and Isaac. Pretty full, haha. Lunch at J8 Food Court. Had a lot of stupid conversations. Like the Joshua and I thing, RAH you all evil people >:( Got suanned like mad but it was for pure fun so it's alright. Talked and talked for a bit more, and hitched ride home with Jiajia, Ron and Gerard. Talked about more stuff and got suanned, haha. Reached home, work work work, and then comp. Ohwell, Emath is sian ttm ):
I should really use more weekends to study more, O: Even though I'm pretty much tired out during the week with at least 3 tests a week. O: Diediediediedie, hatechubigO ):
Peace Outt. | | |
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